she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
