You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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