woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
