quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Did we literally take a cab across the street
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Holy sore nipples Batman
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
