i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
