OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
