you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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