He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
