he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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