My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
