you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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