I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
