singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
