i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
