What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
