so that wasnt chicken after all
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
