i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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