dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
