Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
