i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
