they said they heard you say put it in my butt
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
