This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
