Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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