That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Life without a bra equals bliss.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
