i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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