So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
