Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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