She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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