so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
