I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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