no, he came in my armpit
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
