he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
