Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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