He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
