I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
