Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
