i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
