I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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