was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
he fucked my hip out of place.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
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