I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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