TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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