Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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