this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
it glows. i had to have it.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
