Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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