idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
