i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
