You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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