That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
