i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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