What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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