I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
