It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
