Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
