Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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